the ultimate insult!!!

Alright, so our favorite bojangley strumpet is setting the dance floor on fire, doing his thing and whatnot, when i bump into a 350 pound gorilla who is dressed like ali fucking g. A gorilla with two friends from the streets of prague!! And as we know, prague is quite dangerous. You know, every day I survive is prague, well, i consider it a successful day. So imagine my fear when I bumped into 3 gangsters from prague, including one who if he wasn't pregnant does a hell of a job pretending. If I seem petty for making fun of how fat this waste of life is, well, I guess i'm petty. So I bump into jabba the hut and i say "prosim". Which (in hindsight) I wish meant "fuck off, tubby", but unfortunately means "excuse me". So this gangster from the whitest city in the world, who has never seen a black person, but still can relate through fashion and nelly (not furtado) slaps me in the face!! A grown man slapping bojangles in the face. What more, a 350 pound grown man slapping bojangles in the face!!! O woeful day!!! This called for measures ever so drastic!! Who slaps!! That's worse than throwing a fucking shoe!! I needed to represent mn to the fullest. I can be gangster to. I also can relate!! I'm from the streets of Eagan, son!! I go to Madison. It's only 97% white. Much better than prague. I also blast nelly from my Honda. Drawing from my vast gangster experience and superior intellect I got my revenge the only way a thug from mn knows how. To beat such a streetwise prague fatty I had to beat him at his own game. No, I had to one up him, I had to raise the stakes while displaying a debonoir wit that this gangster had only seen while watching "yo, mtv raps"! I had to show him what a coldblooded gangster i was compared to his wankster. Seeing how if I ate Joe Pesci the fat guy would still have 100 pounds on me, I decided that my best ammunition would be words and the best weapon would be the wondrous entity that is my mouth. Wielded correctly it can be devestating!! Even to a true Prague gangster. I loaded my weapon, I cocked it and I pulled the trigger!! "Well, like, at least, you know, like, I'm not, you know, fat. Right, I mean, like you're fat. Fat ass." My words struck the mark true. A young Cassuius Clay would have blushed at such bold words. An old Terrell Owens would cry at this barrage of dialogue! Bojangley wins again!! Victory was sweet and swift. That is until I got slapped again!!!!!

plans

munich, milan, bike race, rest of italy, ferry, greece, back rome, plane, berlin, then home. may 18-june 14

hmmm

It has been way too long since my last scandalous update. But worry not, my faithful audience of two. Times are a changing in this seemingly stable blogger's universe we find ourselves so enwrapped in. As we know all too well, things have the unfortunate habit of falling..well...i guess of falling apart. And since that slippery bitch of time is anything but a constant, it takes more than just words to get by in this life of ours. I guess I'm trying to say "more than words is all I have to give to make it real." Now, this may sound like a ripoff of a popular song from the 80's by a hair band of sorts, but for me it means a great deal more. Think of it as a..hmmm..a..how do you say...a metaphor!! A metaphor that has some sort of meaning!! Do you follow, dear readers?? In a way, this world is a stage and we are the actors!! Again, this may seem like I'm borrowing something from a certain Bill Shakes, but I can because it's a metaphor!! You can do anything you want if it's metaphorical!! You could blackmail Bob Saget if it's symbolic!! You could have an affair with Tom Delay if it's ironic!! Is this making sense?? So to justify anything in this world of many, just remind your accusers that you are reflecting art through the prism of life and therefore can justify defecating on Patrick Schwayze for aesthetic effects. And remember I'm using this blog post as a metaphor and the symbology of my syntax for the sake of art. mehahahahahahahahahahahaha