The Barrier Reef

The Barrier Reef

He didn’t like to swim alone. It was just the only way he knew how. A certain trait isolated from the whims of his being. His ever-changing consciousness pulling him every which way, day to day until the autonomous nature of his being was called into question as a quotidian conundrum. Constant questioning, incessant brow beating, and perilous thoughts all lay bare to the bear minimalism stoked within his ribcage. Turn on the fluorescent black light and purge the fat, the pork, and the extras from the tiny orb lying within what he can’t see. Diving into the darkest of waters, moonlight shimmering on the surface, diffracted by fog rising from liquid memories, where the character is constituted, where beliefs, personality and feeling are engendered into what takes disparate urges, desperate inclinations, transient pleasure and all-encompassing necessities to create ONE. Deeper we go into the cleansing Ocean, away from anxiety, away from decorum, away from social grace, away from saving face, away from custom, away from care, soul laid bare, as the last barrier to selfhood is within grasp, deeper and deeper, yet clearer and clearer, the moon’s light still a beacon as it shines through dolorous water to find you, to show us, to comfort them, all in this, the moon’s path in the darkest, deepest section, can’t see anybody, but hear your reflection, taste the salt, excise your thoughts, betray your humanity and wipe away whatever tears might form, the water proves superfluous yet necessary as we drown when the moon is blocked by recalcitrant clouds forming overhead, angry clouds with deplorable thoughts and the means to wage war on our light, now disconnected and floating toward futility; there is no up, there is no down, it is space and you are filling it, until there is no you for the space to interact with, until the water has evaporated, as the clouds rain down stones of fire, as you sink deeper and deeper into yourself, time for one last stand, time for one last primal howling directed at the moon that was never there for you, just an illusion, time to lose yourself in your vocal cords, time to open up and reclaim time, reclaim purpose, incite a fight for what you truly believe in: yourself against the uncaring forces that have spun you out of your orbit and melted your gravitational pull until it’s meaningless, like an ant exerting force on a cannonball, like a grain of sand affecting an ocean, which is where the moon can’t find you, where the light is gone and all you have is your rapidly decaying strength, where all you have is your grasping hand, treading water beneath the very surface and sinking slowly, sinking to where nobody can find you, sinking from dreams, sinking from pleasure, basking in pain, sorrow and lonely…until you get deep enough into this whirlpool of chaos, this torpid uncaring chaos, and you see light from the darkness, not top-down, but bottom-up, no moon to provide comfort and ease pain and erase the grief, but here is where you create your own barrier reef. Find your blank canvass and project, no, create all your fantasies, destroy the world of old, the world of the benevolent moon shining down and showing you the light, banish the moon back to the arcane days of cowardice and pick up your easel (if you can still breathe, if you have the strength, if you are unanchored to this comfort) the nutrients are limited, but pick up your easel; the water is cold, but pick up your easel; there are no directions, but pick up your easel. The (re)generation of your reef, of your shield, of your solace: of you. Provide it with the careful attention, shine your light on it, let it grow, bottom-up, impose yourself in this deep, dark uncaring place; flaunt your values, banish others and grow, as you go deeper and deeper, keep growing, keep learning. As your kingdom from the bottom spreads out in this dark place, as your kingdom expands in infertile waters, as your kingdom fights on, as your kingdom takes everything you have, if your kingdom saps you primal strength, if your kingdom is unsustainable, maybe, just maybe you will run into another deep sea diver and the barrier reef will be breached; but what will replace the irreplaceable? Seeds of germination spread and two into one: The Great Coral Reef.